What I’ve always known has finally been proven. Nice guys finish last- and assholes live forever.

onion_news2381*

“Henry Allingham’s explanation for his amazing longevity was “cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women.” Which doesn’t mean you should run out and buy a fifth of Jack Daniel’s just yet.

“…the most surprising finding of Dr. Friedman’s—who was working in California, of all places—was the curious relationship between cheerfulness and longevity. Defining cheerfulness as optimism plus a sense of humor, Friedman found his cheerful subjects lived relatively shorter lives in comparison to subjects with less sunny outlooks.

“…optimists are less likely to react with appropriate caution to troubling health symptoms, assuming the best and moving heedlessly along. For another, the optimist’s worldview might capsize him in the face of life’s more difficult moments—optimists just don’t account for the usual grim possibilities.”

via The Daily Beast.

*That’s Strom Thurmond by the way.

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