Category Archives: SOS-SAD-FART

“We’re having New Age fun with a Vintage feel!”


yeah thats not what I was looking for at all.

Don’t ask one of us to design a poster for your missing cat, because I have a feeling that the exchange and the result might go a little something like this:

I’d really just read the whole thing

God’s gotta crack that whip, alright.

Director: “Ok. Adam? If you could just remove that ascot and give us one more take? Yea, that might work better. Aaaand, action!”

Oof. This guy even has a wedding ring on. Look’s like someone’s got faith-a-faith-a-faith!

A moment of silence please

Ellie, the world’s ugliest dog whom you should remember from a previous post , has died. The mayor of Pigeon Forge (Ellie’s hometown) has declared November 12th “Miss Ellie Day” in honor of my ugly ugly namesake. Which coincidentally is just days before my birthday. The resemblance just gets eerier and eerier.

“Honey…we don’t have to cry just because we love Justin Bieber”

“Yea we do…sometimes!”

Ugh, god. Girls these days are going to grow up to realize they had a monumental crush on a 15 year old boy who looked like a 30 year old lesbian. Boy are they in for a rude awakening. (also, the 4:12 mark is just incredible).

Also, this mom is a terrible person for taking this video of her daughter…AND she named her daughters Cody and Chayanne. Good luck to you all in the future!


To any fwend or reader of this blog who might be on my email list…I apologize. I am not in Scotland, nor did I send that email asking for $1,500. I mean I’ll still take the money if you want to send it to me, but definitely don’t feel obligated.

I can’t even get into my email right now as my password has been changed, so if you get any more emails…they’re not from me! Sorry again!


Ok, so after confirming my mania in a chat with Ellie, I have decided to pose this question to the group:

I received a friend request on facebook from this mysterious vixen about a month ago, and accepted only after seeing that I had HUNDREDS of friends in common with her, most notably: ALL OF YOU. Thinking that I was crazy for not remembering someone clearly so connected and such an integral part of my life and those of my friends, I began to create memories of her in my head. Like the time she forgot all of her drawing supplies in Jean Shin’s foundation drawing class and used an extinguished cigarette as charcoal. Or the time that she brought in cookies for everyone in Stabile Hall, even though it was HER birthday. Thats just the kind of girl Ashely is. In my mind.

That is until it was confirmed by several people that they accepted her request for exactly the same reasons, and do not have a clue who this girl is.

Now this next part may seem mean-spirited, but I can’t help myself.

Some excellent quotes from her facebook page:

About Me: I’m Ashley. I’ve been told that i’m super quirky at times. I prone to mood swings. I have a big spastic personality that everyone likes (or so i’m told). I absolutely suck at making plans so i just go with the flow. I sing along with songs. I find humor in awkward situations. Any form of hate sent towards me, only enhances my humoristic [YES. HUMORISTIC] conciet. I’m well aware that not everyone is going to like me. I avoid jealousy & insecurity, as well as I simply just dont get embarrased about anything. I am a sea of colorful emotions, so i suggest you dive right in!

Part of me feels bad for doing this. As Lizi once put it,”[Ashley is]one of those people I could NEVER forget. I don’t think everyone is unique, different yes, but not “unique”. You’re one of those I could recognise in the middle of Manhattan…even if I were ‘deleted.'” How could I, and all of you not remember such a fantastic and beautiful character? Why is the world so cruel? Why am I so heavily addicted to facebook that this caused me stress and that I felt it necessary to write this article?

Jesus Christ. I’m done. If any of you have any information leading to the recovery of ANY facts about our connection to this girl please reply to this post or call (202) SAD-FART. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.